by Jill Brownlee-Wolf
I recently met with my friend and business consultant who brought me to the reality that I have more thinking and writing to do about my business than I’d thought. I was hoping we were closer to a step that brought financing, but we are not.
Three steps forward. Two steps back. It is still forward motion, but so discouragingly slow that I wonder if I can stay the course.
There are a number of reasons people have to take steps back, but the most obvious is to get better prepared for the new steps. I can accept this. But the pace of this may very well be the obstacle that could defeat me. I’m somewhere around mile 20 of a marathon. My muscles burn. Places that should never feel chaffing are beginning to rub raw and bandaids won’t cut it. I know I smell. I’ve tried to drink enough water to balance the sweat that seems to ooze out of every pore, but my mouth is still dry. And the kicker, the team I’m running with is 50 feet behind me looking for my encouragement to not quit because I convinced them all to run this race with me.
I begin to waiver if I’m able. I question my vision, my motives, my quest. My sense of self feels closer to psychotic than leader and I’m wondering if maybe this just wasn’t meant to be. Darkness has fallen and I feel like slipping into a pity party. Just one glass of wine, a long hot bath, and I can forget this adventure every existed.
But nothing in the fabric of my being will quit. Some things are worth fighting for and I know this is one of them. I’m drawn to the pages of my journal to revisit my mission. To explore why I started this in the first place. To reignite the fire that has burned so passionately in my heart bringing me this far.
These words spill onto my pages….
This next generation, my children, need people, like me, to fight status quo to offer them better opportunities to develop into people that matter. Better opportunities to confront the entitlement epidemic running rampant across America. Better opportunities to develop courage to challenge mediocrity. Better opportunities to cultivate skills and knowledge to solve the problems facing our world.
They need me to face my fears, my inadequacies, and my frustrations in order to create a place for them to more quickly find their voice and be a contributor to this world. They need me to advocate for their potential, their opportunities, and their hearts. If I quit when the going gets tough, I will only be modeling the very behavior I want to challenge them to fight.
I live in the land of opportunity and freedom to pursue anything good. Therefore, I will squeeze every ounce out of this privilege and commit to the race. Nothing will stop me. Ever.