My Comfort or My Dream
Two and a half ago today I decided to change me life. Years in the public education system doing every job imaginable in either an official or unofficial capacity, I came to the conclusion that although I was good at my job, it did NOT make me feel alive. I’m not sure when the numbness started, but despite short stints with feeling various levels of success and joy, I still found myself wanting for something I couldn’t quite identify. Something more. Something that made me feel ALIVE.
A number of times in my life I turned corners finding street signs that pointed to this dream, but never took that road thinking it was a pie in the sky dream that was not a realistic pursuit for a conservative young female. After all, my desire to be an honorable wife was my true noble pursuit. Yet somewhere deep inside I knew this is what I was good at, what made me feel HIS pleasure. Like ground water that runs underneath the ground, unbeknownst to most people standing 20 feet above it, this little stream has kept this dream alive.
My change is to leave a life of comfort for a far riskier pursuit – film and TV production. Various forms of media actually, with the intent to influence the very young people I had spent the last 16 years teaching.
Although my path has changed since Feb 17st 2008, my dream is still the same, empower the next generation to be better than the present. Better at showing grace, better at connecting to cultures and people that are different than their own, better at taking care of the less fortunate, and better at living joyfully.
I am reading the book called, The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson, and can’t help but be moved by each chapter. (I’ll reference this frequently and suggest you invest in it.) Wilkinson tells the story of a man named Ordinary who dares to embark on a journey to purse his “big dream.”
I’ve titled this piece, “My Comfort or My Dream” because it’s just that simple. You choose. A small emotional breakdown today caused me to re-evaluate my choice. Was I capable of this? Could I really emotionally survive this transition and pursuit? I’m not sure I am totally confident that I can, but the alternative is worse. Comfortable is over-rated and fine for some, but it’s not enough for me. One of my characters in one of my scripts says, “Courage is not something you feel, but something you choose.” And even though I am the author of that quote, I still don’t feel it, most of the time. But again I come back to this, the alternative is not an option. My dream is so alive in my heart, my mind, and my soul that abandoning it for the comfortable would rip out a part of me I couldn’t live without.
It is with this conviction that Stranded Entertainment was born. A company that will influence not only the audience of the world with its products, but its cast and crew in the making of those products. I will leave no life untouched by Stranded and so help me God, this legacy will impact the world in ways that right now I can only imagine. Therefore it is my dream and not my comfort that I choose.